In honor of August, the month where Subway is offering the best sub on the menu, the buffalo chicken sub for $6, I’ve decided to tell you why Subway is the happiest place on earth.
I think that the way Subway is set up instills good attributes in you.
The subs at Subway are so good because if they’re not, it’s basically your own fault. You chose all your own toppings. If my sub isn’t good, I take accountability for it. “I shouldn’t have asked for the extra pickles. That’s on me.” Outside of Subway, nothing is my fault. If I cut someone off while I’m driving and they honk at me, that person is the idiot. But inside Subway, I am the captain of my sub, I am the master of my soul.
At Subway they have the Subway card. In case you aren’t familiar, you get one point for every dollar you spend. After 75 points you get a free foot long. Granted, that’s a ridiculous amount of money to spend for a free sub, but there’s a part of me that’s proud that I’m working towards a goal. And there’s a certain sense of accomplishment you feel when you cash in your $75 dollars worth of points for that foot long. You had an objective and you accomplished it! Kudos to you! Even if it meant you had to down 15 meatball heroes to do it.
These are all character traits I can’t achieve outside of Subway, but when I’m in that building I’m awesome! For example, if you asked me to donate a kidney outside of Subway, I’d think you were crazy. But if you asked me while I was in a Subway, I would probably tell you yes. Because when you donate an organ I could be doing one thing, and a small part of me would be doing another thing. I would be multitasking all the time! And that’s another thing I’m terrible at outside of Subway.