Running

Running in jeans and walking in workout clothes kind of get the same reaction from people. If you ever see someone running in jeans you’re probably thinking, “This person clearly didn’t plan to workout. Obviously, he is getting chased right now, and he needs some help.” Walking in workout clothes is similar, but with a subtle difference, because people are thinking, “This person obviously planned on going for a run, but he clearly wasn’t prepared for the workout regimen that he planned for ahead of time. He needs some help.”

That’s why I think I’m going to start working out in jeans, because if I end up having to walk it will seem like I’m just a pedestrian. But if I’m running in the jeans it’s exciting! People think, “That man is being chased but he is clearly the superior runner because I don’t see his assailant anywhere. I’m impressed!”

It would really stink to actually get chased while you’re wearing workout clothes because no one would stop and think that you’re actually being chased. Actually, the perfect crime would be if the person chasing you was wearing workout clothes while you were also wearing workout clothes. Then people would think you’re just running partners. Until of course someone is lying on the ground throwing up after getting punched in the stomach. Which is what I usually do at the end of a run anyway.